Tag Archives: Sex addiction counseling

infidelity

Help! My Partner Cheated On Me!

infidelityInfidelity is not rare. People cheat on their partners. What if you are the betrayed one? You feel devastated. Maybe your partner only wandered away once or twice – perhaps they are notorious cheaters, moreover, sex addicts, which means they have an obsessive approach to sex. The shock and pain will not go away soon; a romantic betrayal has long-term effects on you. Seek treatment. Support groups are vital but probably not enough. You may want to seek a sex addiction therapist to help you sort out your disturbing thoughts.

5 Ways of Infidelity Affects You.

Depression and Despair

Your partner’s infidelity has a devastating effect on your everyday life. You may lose your focus and you cannot concentrate on your job, your everyday tasks. You may feel depressed. You may alienate from your family members and friends. You may feel shame or fury. Probably you cannot sleep, you have nightmares, you develop migraines.  If you feel weary all the time, you are distracted, you find no pleasure in your favorite activities, you should see a therapist. You may need help with your marriage and family problems and your depression, too. Clinical depression is a serious matter.

Self-doubt and Low Self-Esteem

You might believe that your partner cheated on you because you were not good enough for him or her. You may have thoughts like “my wife cheated on me, because the other guy was better” or “the other woman is brighter and more beautiful than me”. You blame yourself for his or her infidelity. You feel insecure and frustrated. Low self-esteem is toxic. You may develop self-harming habits like compulsive eating or compulsive spending. You may want to find relief in excessive drinking, or you want to cheat on your partner, out of revenge. However, do not forget that your partner’s infidelity has its separate issues from yours.. Sex addicts are obsessed with sex, their behavior shows obsessive and compulsive tendencies. Infidelity is just that.

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

You may develop some symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. You have angry outbursts without any reason, and you become aggressive. You avoid the places or people that remind you of your trauma. You have intrusive thoughts: you relive the painful memories over and over again. You feel hopeless, you dread the future. Once you recognize some of these symptoms, consider seeking professional help. If a month has gone by and you still have the symptoms or the symptoms are extreme, you have a problem – a sex addiction counselor can help you.

Paranoia

You have probably doubted your partner’s honesty to begin with, and he or she has shrugged it away, saying that you are paranoid or insecure. You might have felt guilty about your doubts – and now it turns out that you were right all the while. Now that you do not trust your partner anymore, you are overly cautious: you are looking for tell-tale signs, red flags, you check your partner’s pockets, wallet, and desk drawers. Perhaps you have obsessive images of your partner’s infidelity. Your partner probably has sex addiction issues and you have a good reason for not trusting them. Although your partners dishonest is separate, paranoia is rooted in you and a plan to get help is needed for health and recovery for yourself. A counselor or Sanonn meeting will help you to know what to do next.

Anger

Your situation is particularly hard, because it is not an enemy or an indifferent person who caused your woes. It is the person whom you are supposed to trust the most. You cannot forgive your partner and you let them know it. You nag them, you slip hurtful remarks. Be careful with it. Probably your partner has issues and needs help. Seek a professional who sexual addiction and infidelity induced trauma.. A counselor or a sex addiction therapist may find the underlying reasons for your partner’s behavior. Probably she or he has undergone severe traumas, coming to understand this will help you both greatly. Many sex addicts come from dysfunctional families. Brace yourself for ugly surprises. Once you start  therapy, you may learn about unthinkable issues in your partner’s distant past, from childhood abuse to incest or assault but there is also hope ahead. Many relationships bond like never before with an openness they only wished for.

Pin It
Why do I need a sex addiction therapist

Why do I need a sex addiction therapist if i’m using the 12 Steps?

Why do I need a sex addiction therapistCongratulations! If you have committed to attending 12 Step meetings, you have decided that you want a life in recovery. Using the 12 Steps is an excellent way to regain control of your life, but it’s not enough. While being close to a group that shares your problems can be a rewarding experience, there are areas of your life that are not addressed in 12-Step meetings. Additionally, the people in your Tuesday night sexual recovery groups are not equipped to deal with your unique circumstances. For that you need a qualified sex addiction therapist.

Here’s why a sex addiction therapist is needed:

• Group therapy sessions may seem to be the same as 12-Step meetings, but there is one very important difference. In 12-step meetings, addicts share their stories and feedback is discouraged, whereas in group therapy, advice and suggestions from others in the group is strongly encouraged. While sharing happens in both groups, only in group therapy is it reciprocal, supplying valuable coping skills for the addict.

• The second promise of the 12 Promises of AA states, “We will not regret the past nor wish to turn our backs on it.” Exploring the past is essential to recovery. Sex addiction often has its roots in trauma, and it is necessary for a sex addiction therapist to help you handle that exploration.

• Disclosure to your partner is vital to your recovery. This must be handled with the greatest of care and a lot of preparation is necessary before you attempt it. Many therapists recommend that disclosure be performed in their presence in order to help handle any possible reactions from your partner.

• Porn addiction has a compulsivity component that needs to be addressed by a mental health professional. Talking about it in meetings will help, but not make it go away or help you to control it entirely.

• Re-establishing trust in a relationship takes time, patience, as well as the guidance of a sex addiction counselor. Without the tools a therapist can provide, the relationship may flounder and die.

• Oftentimes, partners need therapists to help them understand their own co-dependence with their sexually-addicted partners. A sex addiction therapist is eminently qualified to handle your partner’s issues.

The bottom line is that it’s unwise to choose between using the 12 Steps and using a sex addiction therapist. Instead, use both. In 12 Step meetings you will gain the community that you need to help you continue in your recovery, and therapy will give you the tools to uncover your core issues as well as how to handle the many aspects of recovery.

Do you have experience you can share? Please comment below about how your sex addiction therapist has helped you in ways that a 12 step meeting alone could not.

Learn more about our sex addiction therapy services

Related post:

Choosing a sex addiction counselor: Are you getting the best care?

 

Pin It