“With my marriage on the brink of failure and my life in disarray, I went to Jeff with the hope of conquering my addicition. I had hit rock bottom. Jeff Schultz helped me to overcome the shame and pain associated with my severe sexual addiction. He helped me to understand the source of my behavior and enabled me to develop tools to deal with my life in a healthy way. He has been empathetic, compassionate, fair and direct. It has become commonplace to hear people say they are a “recovering drug addict” or “recovering alcoholic” but there is tremendous shame in admitting to a sexual addiction. I have achieved one year of sexual sobreity, rebuilt a damaged marriage, and now have the tools to live a healthy life with a bright future. I am living without shame, recognizing my past, but focused on a healthy future. And I could not have done it without Jeff Schultz.” - Evan M
“Recovery is such an amazing place - full of the joys of experiencing life for the very first time. [My wife] and I continue to discover new depths of relationship and I am relaxing into the promises of recovery. … I continue to be surprised at how well the program works when someone really applies it to their life. Our group continues to be a very healthy one with a growing core of sobriety.”- Ken A
“I think of other people first - especially my daughter. I think of the consequences of my actions. I don’t react, I respond. I remind myself that I am a good guy and that I don’t need to prove it or seek approval from anyone else. I am HONEST with my intentions with other people.”- Tony H
“… he led me step by step through the process of learning about my addiction, the patterns, and the steps to recovery. Jeff taught me to deal with stress and to communicate in a healthy way. Jeff helped me save my marriage, keep my job, and regain a positive outlook on life and of myself. - Shawn A
“Before I met Jeff, I was very uncertain about whether my addiction to pornography was curable: was this a problem I would carry with me for the rest of my life or not? A divorce catapulted me into a situation where I began to search hard for answers and that’s when I was introduced to a recovery program with Jeff.
Sexual addiction counseling has helped me to understand what the issues around my addiction were and gave me some tools to handle my recovery. I’ll be the first to admit that my recovery has not been perfect, but it’s been more of a beginning…a first step towards understanding years of hurt and pain that I carried with me for so long. I’m grateful for the understanding it has provided me and for the comfort in knowing that I am not alone.”
- Jake B
“I was broken and my life was shattered. Years of my sexual addiction had left me without hope and I only knew pain. I had hit my bottom and thought that I would lose my partner of 21 years, my house, maybe even my life. At first I wanted nothing more than to have my partner back. I had heard of the Meadows but it was out of my reach, I searched the internet for someone to help. What I now think of as my higher power lead me to Jeff Schultz. The whole month of August of 2011 was like being under dark water. It was all I could do to make an appointment and show up. During my first meeting with Jeff, I could barely talk through all of of the emotion. I remember him saying that the first thing to do was to stop the train I was on and then we would figure out why I was on the train. I made a decision that I would change. To be honest, at first I was motivated to have my partner back but I was willing to do whatever I needed to do. Per Jeff’s direction, I started going to SAA meetings. I got a sponsor. I saw Jeff individually and participated in one of his groups. I started working the 12 steps. I stopped acting out but there was something missing, I needed to do this for me and I realized this through hearing the stories of others. My one year sobriety was July 26, 2011. I know myself better than at any point in my life. I still have days when I struggle but my life if totally different. I can participate in the present. And I have felt joy for the first time in a long time.”- Jeff M
“All is well in my recovery. I am 10, 11, and 12 stepping daily. I am still sober with no relapses (and remind myself frequently that those suckers are optional). I am still going to meetings (2 to 3 a week). I also have been meeting with a sponsee weekly, which has been an interesting experience so far. I feel really secure in my recovery. I faced some pretty emotional topics a couple weeks back, and while urges came, I did not resort to any middle circle or acting out behaviors — no threat outside of noticing the urge and working the program while they passed (and also face what was bothering me). Overall, recovery has been the easier variety, as opposed to the white-knuckle type. I still keep in touch with Rod, Jeff M, Lloyd, Joe, and Kurtis on a pretty regular basis, as well as some other friends in SAA. My current and oft-repeated affirmations are “I am happy, healthy, and wealthy,” and “I am a recovery rock star!” And I really believe I am :)”- Andre P
“Dealing with an addiction is no easy ride. I came to Dr. Schultz in a crisis. He led me step by step through the process of learning about my addiction, the patterns, and the steps to recovery. Dr. Schultz taught me to deal with stress and to communicate in a healthy way. Dr. Schultz helped me save my marriage, keep my job, and regain a positive outlook on life and of myself. I recommend his program to others who are struggling with addictive behavior and want to help themselves.”- Shawn A
“Recovery is such an amazing place - full of the joys of experiencing life for the very first time. Gaile and I continue to discover new depths of relationship and I am relaxing into the promises - coming to understand that I will experience life this way as long as I continue to “maintain fit spiritual condition”.I continue to be surprised at how well the program works when someone really applies it to their life - and, of course, the converse of that is also true. I’ve got sponsees all over that range - and thoroughly enjoying working with them (most of the time :-)). Our group continues to be a very healthy one with a growing core of sobriety.I hope that you are doing well personally, that your marriage is delightful and that your practice is going well and that you are finding meaning in what you do.
Four years ago I was lost in a whirlpool of sexual acting out, aggressive and abusive behavior and constant shame and remorse. It seemed to me that the only thing that would make a difference was to just go somewhere and restart my life. That was the direction that I was headed in when a glimpse of my insanity seeped into my consciousness.
That glimpse was simply a moment in time when some doubt crept in that maybe I was the problem and not everyone else in the world. Once that began to grow I acceded to counseling and then to going to the Meadows.
When I arrived in Arizona I was scared, angry and an emotional wreck. I’m really not sure what I expected but what I got was a mixture of hard truth, compassion and healing exercises. I think that I cried for two weeks - some from sadness but mostly from relief at knowing that there was some HOPE.
I watched the two of you work with others. You were the epitome of the good cop, bad cop guys (at least it seemed that way at the time). Jeff kept me centered in reality when I wanted to take a trip into denial and Doug, you showed me and those you worked with what love looks like in action. It takes little effort to “be” back in the family sessions - not just my own, but the sessions with others. Those were as important to my recovery as anything - watching some people begin to heal and others harden their denial. Your skill in dealing with those situations was amazing to watch in action.
When my wife arrived she was very afraid - and concerned that she would not get what she needed to feel comfortable. She has told me that your private sessions with her were what kept her there and gave her confidence that she wasn’t being railroaded into anything. You were able to instill confidence in the process by your gentle yet authoritative demeanor.
I don’t think I could put my finger on the most important feature of the Meadows experience as there are so many pieces that made it what it was and I am so grateful to you both for your good work.
I followed up after the Meadows with 3 sessions a week with a therapist in Knoxville as well as a great SA group where I got a sponsor and worked hard on the steps. I know now, having sponsored about a dozen others, that the sponsee that actually works hard is a small minority and I know that my experience at the Meadows prepared me well for the 12-step meetings at home. I was SO ready to be healthy and have a new life.
So, instead of being alone with no friends and probably dying an ugly death from disease or violence, my life is filled with gratitude, love and friends. Each and every day I become more and more aware of the beauty of life. I’m amazed to be living with such an incredible woman who has become my partner and friend. My relationship with her is something that I simply could not have described - I had no paradigm for the delight that I find with her. We’ve celebrated our 41st wedding anniversary and I know that she is my partner for life and wouldn’t want it any other way.
Add to that the many friends that we have both jointly and separately and you will begin to see the rich dimension that life now has. I’m playing softball a couple of times a week and have a bunch of really terrific “guy” friends. I’m involved in the community doing volunteer work and we have people over to the house often.
Our life together is simply nothing short of a miracle and the two of you were instrumental in getting me headed down the right path.
I’ve had several people say to me (and to Gaile) that they literally didn’t recognize me because I’ve changed so much - looking relaxed and happy. I love that kind of feedback because it tells me that I’m still on the right track - that of living life in the present with love and integrity.
Thank you from the core of my being for what you do. May you know in your heart how meaningful it has been.”
- Ken A
